.FAIL.

Once upon a time there was this adorable guy in my ward that home taught my roommate. After a couple dates I sort of had developed this HUGE crush on him. Which is a big deal because for too long I've been dating without every really liking anyone and I reaalllly thought this kid was a keeper. Someone I could definitely see myself falling for, maybe...!? AH! You know that way akward exciting time when you realize you might be transitioning from casual dating to starting a real relationship!?

So, He asked me to go to Idaho Falls with him for his brother's birthday and meet his family. Annnd, that's a big deal..right!? I was stoked..hours alone in the car...just him and me...getting our flirt on......

when WHAM! I get a phone call from my mother and the following ensued...

Hey mom what's up?

Did I miss you guys!? I wanted to meet this Andy* (name may or may not have been changed for his sake) guy you've told me so much about!

Yeah sorry, we left Kaysville a while ago, we're almost to Idaho. Oh, I was trying to remember, is Grandpa from Ashton or St. Anthony?

-Ashton.

Andy, do you live close to Ashton?

-No.

Where is Andy from?

Shelley, just outside of Idaho Falls.

Oh! Ask him if he knows any Ormes.

Andy....do you know any Ormes?

-Yeah! (surprised face) My grandpa's name is Joseph Orme!

-....Mom, is Grandma related to a Joseph Orme?

-I dont think so, she has a brother named Emmett and a brother named JC. (Sigh of relief)

Her Dad's name was Parley, ask him if he knows a Parley Orme.

Andy, do you know a Parley Orme?

-(even more surprised/confused face) that's my great grandpa's name...

-Wait, so....Is your Grandpa's name JC?!? (TERRIFIED face)

-Yeah... Joseph Christopher

..................(stunned silence).......................(My mom and sister laughing uncontrollably in the background)............





And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the moment I found out I'd been dating my second cousin.


It was awful. terrible. disappointing. hilarious. He may or may not have announced the whole story to our ward the next day at church. And now I may or may not need to transfer my records because I'm so embarrassed.

I have a big fat, incestual crush on my second cousin.

Fail. Fail. Fail.