To No One in Particular...

Recently I've been reflecting on my past relationships... You should know, ours is the only one I ever really count. You are still the only one I've ever given any significant piece of my heart to. When people ask me to think back to my happiest moments, I still think of some of our moments.

 Today I am sure we are exactly where we need to be. I don't know if you'd believe me if I told you, but I really am glad things turned out how they have. I am so happy you found your intended. I think you two are perfect for each other. I even think she's perfect for you in ways I never was. I'm sure you'd question my sincerity if I ever actually summoned up the courage to say it to you, but truly, I feel 'happy you're happy.' That's all I'll ever want for you.

I'm content with the lives we're living and the choices we made. But I miss the way things were somedays. I'm still so grateful for those experiences.


Thank you for all the times you cheered me on from the sidelines. You made me feel like I could do anything. Thanks for overlooking my stubbornness. You made me feel like I was worth the wait. Thank you for making my heart race. Thanks for buying me flowers, for making long trips to see me, and making a special effort to surprise me. I felt like I was living out a fairytale. Thank you for all the times you tickled my back and played with my hair on the drive home. I've never felt more adored and cared for, or more perfectly content. Thanks for noticing and appreciating so many of the little things. Thanks for the talk in your backyard after that fight with my dad. Thanks for letting me hide behind you after I fell on my face getting on that ride (in front of alll those people.) Thanks for refusing to let go of me on the tube at the lake. I always felt so confident with you by my side. Thanks for taking my hand and calming me down when I almost lost it in that haunted house. For holding me after Chandler died. Thank you for making me a part of your family. I will always love them, I wonder if they know that. Thank you for helping me make that sign for the parade. Thank you for always, always trying to do what was best for me. Thanks for that time I had cramps and you got me a cup of ice at the theater. You were always so concerned for my well-being--so desperate to put me at ease and make me comfortable. Thanks for taking me to all those concerts. Thanks for all the times you wrestled with me. Thanks for the food fights and the impromptu water fights. Thank you for the way you made me laugh. The joy you brought into my life is immeasurable. Thanks for taking the risks and making the leaps of faith when I hesitated. It meant more than I can say. Thanks for being an endless source of encouragement and support. Thanks for inspiring me and motivating me. Thanks for coming to me for advice.

To this day, I'm so grateful for the way you loved and respected me. I'm so grateful for the way you still loved, cared for, and protected me even after everything fell apart. You are one of the most wonderful men I have ever known. Is it still okay to admit how much these experiences meant to me? You are not the love of my life, but you taught me what to look for and never to settle. Can you understand how grateful I am for you? I hope someday you will. On days like today, I don't feel bitter. I don't feel remorseful. If I could go back and re-live my past I wouldn't change a thing. On days like today, I'm just grateful for the life I've lived...and even more excited for the life ahead of me.

And I guess I have you to thank for that..go figure.