10/28/2011
Went on the funnest date tonight.
The kid was a total dream.
My abs (lack thereof?) are kinda sore from laughing all night. Like, really laughing.
What's awkward is, I have been objectifying his roommate (in jest) with my friends, from a safe distance, for about a month or two now. And it was weird having him (the friend) there on the group date. Only because some random, well-meaning, completely third-party kid spilled the beans and told him (the friend) about my hopeless, embarrassing, completely unfounded obsession with him before going on said date.
Yikes.
Anyway! Back to my date, never saw him coming--but he really is awesome. He seems a little soft spoken and reserved, but totally confident, and I find that intriguing. He's really handsome, way polite, obviously a really ''good'' guy-but down to earth, really funny...
I can't say too much too soon--but I'm just really curious and really interested.
10/30/2011
Went over to their house tonight to watch a movie after church. I am seriously so impressed with this whole house of boys. They are so good. And SO hilarious. It's been a long time since I've felt so impressed with someone(s). I feel kind of self conscious all the sudden--like the new dorky kid at school who is SO hoping that the cool kids will wanna be friends with me. Awkward.
11/2/2011
Date #2 ensued this evening.
We went rock climbing together at the Rock House. Haus. ..? I felt weird and nervous like I haven't felt on a date in a long time. We didn't have a ton of time to talk, since one of us was always trying to climb up a wall or something, but we had polite, second-date, small talk, a bit of witty banter here and there, things seemed to be going pretty good.. I felt frustrated at the end of the night about how little I had learned about him though. I was hoping to connect a bit more and the whole thing felt kind of stiff and just, too polite.
11/4/2011
Shoot. I confess. Shamelessly fb-stalked dream guy tonight. Learned two things. A. He seems awesome. and B. Turns out he has the world's most adorable ex-girlfriend who is currently serving a mission and spends her days being irresistably perfect and charming.
So....shoot. Guilt complex.
11/09/2011:
Still kind of talking/hanging out with dream boy every once in a while. He really does remind me of my dad. He seems so great on paper--seems exactly my type, but I don't feel like we're really clicking when we're together. :( frustrated.
11/12/2011
...Soo, we went out again tonight.
I was SO nervous before he came over. It's seriously not like me--like straight up pacing almost. Way embarrassing. He took me to the Brazilian place where Landon and Liv had their wedding luncheon. I seriously almost choked on an ice cube when the waitress told us how much dinner was. Yikes. He was a total gentleman about it but I'm prettty positive he had no idea it was gonna be so steep. Ha. Anyway, I felt super guilty. (Note: Guys, just fyi, all I really want is a kids meal from Chili's--no need to impress here) I felt like we finally took some baby steps getting to be real friends on this date. I'm usually so good at connecting with people and getting them to open up--but I'm way too intimidated by him, I act like a child. I can't help myself. I have no idea why he keeps asking me out when I keep acting like such an idiot.
Anyway, after dinner we went to a comedy show and after that we went back to his house to watch a movie. Dun. dun. dun.
It is SO unlike me to try and make any kind of moves during a movie. Or actually ever.
I never like to force anything--when it happens, it happens naturally. BUT, not with this kid. I felt like I just had to be a little more obvious so that he would know how interested I am in him. But oh my gosh guys..it was so awful--a semi-awkward arm tickle/cuddle thing happened...I don't even know what it was. Haha I felt like that guy on Just Friends, who doesn't know whether to hug or kiss his date and ends up just picking her up and doing this bizzare full body shake. Hahaha Eckk. I feel embarrassed just thinking back about it. I needed him to know I was into him..but was wayy too scared to do anything drastic.
Haha, I'm pathetic. It's fine.
11/13/2011
He invited me over to play games tonight. So I went over to play games. No one else showed up to play games. Awkward. Buttt we pushed forward anyway and played phase 10. Oh man.
I'm beginning to believe that this isn't an 'awkward stage' but just the way we will interact with one another forever. I honestly don't feel like I can just be myself around him. I feel like I'm constantly being measured up and I get nervous. I feel like we're both interested in each other--but we have no friendship, or any kind of realtionship, to go off of. I want to spend time with him. I'm really interested in him. I wish we had more opportunities to just be together and hang out..it feels like a lot of pressure to either be a couple and date or be nothing at all. Where's the happy medium there?
Hate that.
No comments:
Post a Comment