bad day?

You know those days where you have so many feelings built up...if you even begin to attempt to describe to someone what you're feeling, you just burst into tears? When you just want to run collapse in your mom's arms and just sob on her shoulder and not have to explain anything?

Sometimes I have days when I get so frustrated with myself and my life. Sometimes all my little worries seem huge. Somedays I look around and can only think about all the things I dont have, or all the things I'm not. I think about the big scheme of things, and where I'm at in relation to where I want to be, and I get discouraged. Somedays I feel like I'm failing... On those days, in my moment of desperation, when I can't get to my mom...

I just watch this. No matter how many times I've watched it, it always makes me feel hopeful, and brings a better perspective. I adore this man. He's wonderful. I hope I get the chance to hug him someday, and thank him for this.

Please ignore the completely awful music in the background, I couldnt find one without it. Its really super annoying....but try to look past it and hear what he has to say.

Guaranteed cure for a bad day.




(ps. my last attempt to post a video was kiiind of a fail so, I hope this works. fingers crossed)

My Dear Friend JCall.

I watched this over and over all night, and my heart ached. Ugh. Missions are hard.

But, I'm proud of my studly friends serving throughout the world.
Cannot WAIT for the day I get to hear this kid sing in real life again. :)

Crimson Ground in China
May 28, 2009 8:44

Seee Ya.

Dear Six,

Today I burned all your letters.
It felt like moving on for good. :) Thanks for back then.

Yours no longer,

Me

My Wonderful Friends

This weekend I went out to dinner with my mom and sister and two of my closest, oldest friends.We sat at our table at Zuppa's, (yum! wish we had one in Logan..) we chatted about this and that... and eventually our conversation turned to conference, and the gospel..and our gratitude for the truth... And I thought to myself, this is so not your average girl's night dinner convo, right?

Wrong. My friends are just the greatest. and It was so normal.

As I sat back and listened, I thought to myself, This is exactly why we're best friends!! I love that I have friends who are so excited and enthusiastic about the gospel. I love that I can look to their example as I work at becoming the kind of woman I want to be. I don't know where I'd be without their guiding influence in my life. I'm so grateful.

I'm grateful for roommates who teach me what it means to be a real friend and open your heart to the people around you. Who are constantly lifting and encouraging one another. Who live the gospel, and don't just study it. Who show me everyday what it means to have charity and to be selfless. Who are so caring and compassionate and quick to give of themselves and their talents. Who are so creative, and stylish, and hilarious, and brilliant, and bring so much joy into my life...

Eeek, this is turning so cheesy but I dont know how to express what I'm feeling. Bleh...I'm such an amateur blogger.

I just, really love my friends. I feel awed. Every single one of them has some amazing quality that is uniquely their own that I envy and admire and wish I could master myself.. I feel so lucky just to be around them, and rub shoulders with such remarkable women.

To whomever is responsible for placing these fabulous people in my life, thank you, thank you, thank you. It means the world to me.

Finally..

"Silence isolates. Strained silent periods cause wonderment, hurt, and most often, wrong conclusions" -Marvin J. Ashton

It was so great to finally get some things off my chest recently. I needed it. I needed to understand and to be understood. I needed reassurance. I needed to feel at peace. I shouldn't have avoided that conversation for so long...

Dear Sir,

I might have to wait, but I'll never give up--

I guess its half timing and the other half's luck.

Wherever you are, whenever its right, You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.


I...just haven't met you yet.

do do da, da do do do da.. mm hmm mm mmm mm


:)

.FAIL.

Once upon a time there was this adorable guy in my ward that home taught my roommate. After a couple dates I sort of had developed this HUGE crush on him. Which is a big deal because for too long I've been dating without every really liking anyone and I reaalllly thought this kid was a keeper. Someone I could definitely see myself falling for, maybe...!? AH! You know that way akward exciting time when you realize you might be transitioning from casual dating to starting a real relationship!?

So, He asked me to go to Idaho Falls with him for his brother's birthday and meet his family. Annnd, that's a big deal..right!? I was stoked..hours alone in the car...just him and me...getting our flirt on......

when WHAM! I get a phone call from my mother and the following ensued...

Hey mom what's up?

Did I miss you guys!? I wanted to meet this Andy* (name may or may not have been changed for his sake) guy you've told me so much about!

Yeah sorry, we left Kaysville a while ago, we're almost to Idaho. Oh, I was trying to remember, is Grandpa from Ashton or St. Anthony?

-Ashton.

Andy, do you live close to Ashton?

-No.

Where is Andy from?

Shelley, just outside of Idaho Falls.

Oh! Ask him if he knows any Ormes.

Andy....do you know any Ormes?

-Yeah! (surprised face) My grandpa's name is Joseph Orme!

-....Mom, is Grandma related to a Joseph Orme?

-I dont think so, she has a brother named Emmett and a brother named JC. (Sigh of relief)

Her Dad's name was Parley, ask him if he knows a Parley Orme.

Andy, do you know a Parley Orme?

-(even more surprised/confused face) that's my great grandpa's name...

-Wait, so....Is your Grandpa's name JC?!? (TERRIFIED face)

-Yeah... Joseph Christopher

..................(stunned silence).......................(My mom and sister laughing uncontrollably in the background)............





And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the moment I found out I'd been dating my second cousin.


It was awful. terrible. disappointing. hilarious. He may or may not have announced the whole story to our ward the next day at church. And now I may or may not need to transfer my records because I'm so embarrassed.

I have a big fat, incestual crush on my second cousin.

Fail. Fail. Fail.