Friday, December 30, 2011
Probably sending Thuglas off on his mission this spring...I felt about a million different emotions during that time. I was sad to see him leave and bummed to lose one of my best friends, but also so so excited and proud of him and just felt an out pouring of love within our family right before he left.
I was working at dear old Iron Gate Grill over St. Patrick's day...they had this live Irish band come play and I felt like I was in a scene from PS. I love you....buttt as the night went on the customers just got more and more hammered and we were working later and later into the night (we usually closed at 11 and it was like, closing in on 2 in the morning by the time we went home) It had been a way stressful shift and I was exhausted and upset that I had been there so long...Just then, some inebriated young lass puked all over on her way to the bathroom and guess who my miserable manager sent to go "take care of it?"......this girl. I was scooping up vomit with a dustpan and thinking to myself....I'm getting paid like, 2 dollars an hour for this..
Total low point. Sent me straight back reminiscing about the dorms at Iowa Western...*shudders*
Music/Movies/Books: This year I was lovin' on the Civil Wars, the Black Keys, Noah and the Whale, Ray Lamontagne, Kiersten Holine, Sara B, Justin Vernon, and Angus & Julia Stone.
Umm, in the cinema category; I was thrilled with HP 7.2, and JB's Never Say Never, The Help, the newest Sherlock Holmes annnd 17 miracles.
Books: Finally made it through Jesus the Christ this summer. Then Articles of Faith, Divine Signatures (on Brooke's recommendation) annnd over Christmas break I've just been plowing through the BOM trying to get done before the end of the year. So. Not a lot of recreational reading :/ your suggestions would be appreciated for 2012...
1) The old seed of faith/parasite growing in your heart guy.
I thought we ended on good terms, but he's mad at me lately and I don't really know why. I wrote him a christmas card to apologize but I never sent it. I never really knew what I was apologizing for...?
2) The Roommates.
Stalked the one, got asked out by the other. Tried to make it work....but just...no spark.
3) The kid from Dad's ward.
He's so sweet. But I'm worried its another Chavez situation.
Good people, no dice. Dating gets real discouraging sometimes.
But, you just gotta keep. moving. forward.
I can't really remember what my resolutions were.
I know I wanted to get a job. And get more involved on campus. And read through the Book of Mormon. And probably get a boyfriend. Ha, so I'm sitting at about 2.7ish out of 4.
Ohhh nothing is really coming to mind.
I kinda wanted to on a mission this summer but it's not really eating away at me. I think I made the right choice.
No regrets :) Happy to report it.
2011...thanks for the memzz.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
- Dr. Barcus grew up on an Indian Reservation in Montana--so naturally, she also has a native american alias. She is known to all her native american compadres as, Bear Woman. (picture the cutest little old lady..like 90 something) Hilarious. Bear Woman. Cute-little-old-lady-Bear-Woman said the F word approximately, ohh 30 times this semester. It shocked me all. 30. times.
- She specialized in counseling for rape and sexual assault victims. Her age seemed like it was gonna be a realll setback the day she couldn't figure out how to use the doc-cam for 20 minutes and rolled out an overhead projector, but it was fascinating to hear about all the experiences she'd had over the course of her life. Twice in her class I straight up started crying as she relayed stories of her past clients.
- I don't want to be a professional counselor, but I think the communication skills I learned in this class will benefit every interpersonal relationship I will have for the rest of my life. Being a good listener takes some effort. Who knew? Here's somethings she talked about this semester that stayed with me..
- "You can never change with words what someone learned through experience"
- A counselor's job is not to fix people, it is to help them discover what they want and how to get there.
- Dr. Barcus said she had two goals for every client that walked through her door, 1) to be able to have responsibility in their life 2) to be able to have intimacy..to have worthwhile relationships that bring life meaning.
- Holy cow this class was misery. The lecturer was just kind of a dud..She did just what was required of her and nothing more. She had no passion for the subject material or for how what she was teaching would benefit her students. We had a guest speaker a couple weeks ago and it was the highlight of the semester having him come in and talk about Global Warming.
- I'm honestly having trouble remembering something that stood out to me...
- Oh! I know, get this, a hurricane weighs more than 365 whales. And you can take that to the bank. Thanks Blair!
- This night class was just once a week. Monday nights. I had the hardest time remembering it..Ha, but it didn't matter because it was painfully easy. Again, I was disappointed in the teacher for not having a bit more passion and investment in her students--I find this subject matter FASCINATING! But somehow she put me right to sleep every Monday night.
- I learned....um....what NOT to do when I am a teacher someday. Thanks Carrie!
- These last two classes I took online, and what I learned was, if you take an online class, its like paying for an A. You do zero work and the tests are a breeze. But that is one expensive A...
- God requires things of us. We can't be saved just because..I don't how how some people contend so strongly against this. It seems like such a plain and simple truth to me.
- There is such a thing as absolute truth. There is right and wrong. No matter what Lady Gaga says..
- I love the scriptures..? I don't know if I've ever been able to say that so honestly in my life. Ha, I have never been as dedicated and diligent in my scripture study as I have this semester and it really has made a difference. I look forward to my time in the scriptures instead of just doing it out of a desire to be obedient. Huh. Whaddyaknow.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
It was so fun.
never thought I'd see the day.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
One of the kids, I don't know...lets say Peter(?) Shows up in the Winter Wonderland..Narnia? ..Right? (Sorry if I botch names, I actually haven't read the book since elementary school..but anyway) So he runs into Azlan (the Lion guy) and they are so excited to be reunited because they haven't seen each other in a while..
Azlan comments on how big Peter is and how much he has grown in the last year...and then Peter remarks how much bigger Azlan is as well...and asks, "Azlan, have you grown a year older too?"
"No, I have not," Azlan replies, "yet each year you return, you will find me bigger."
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
So naturally, I started dancing, by myself.
Never felt so good about it.
Instant great mood.
Even though I look like a hot mess today and I've been studying all morning for my test this afternoon and of COURSE I run into that kid I desperately want to date right after eating some curry and wearing my brother's way too big for me sweater.
Also, I just found out I cant go home today because I have to work tonight and I have an interview in the morning.
It's all whatever.
I feel great.
Everyone, I dare you to dance your heart out to this song and not feel great about life.
Friday, November 4, 2011
- It doesn't require any special background or qualifications to be instrumental to a community or society. It takes drive and determination. And it takes character. That's it. Anybody can decide to be a person of character. I want to be a person of character.
- The best leaders, have great vision and great ambition, but the key to reaching those far off goals is to pay attention to the one. This thought has been on my mind a lot lately and it really just got driven home today with this experience. Individuals matter. Relationships matter. Pay attention to those two things and before you know it, you're in some meeting sharing your ideas and moving metaphorical mountains.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Going to see them perform on tour this Wednesday!
Seriously. I can't wait.
I just watched a bunch of youtubes and I feel giddy with excitement.
I have never been an awesome dancer--probably never will be.
But I am in AWE of what these people can do with their bodies.
Bless my mom for getting tickets!
So so so excited!
|Pure Joy: Me, before the show|
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Today I am sure we are exactly where we need to be. I don't know if you'd believe me if I told you, but I really am glad things turned out how they have. I am so happy you found your intended. I think you two are perfect for each other. I even think she's perfect for you in ways I never was. I'm sure you'd question my sincerity if I ever actually summoned up the courage to say it to you, but truly, I feel 'happy you're happy.' That's all I'll ever want for you.
I'm content with the lives we're living and the choices we made. But I miss the way things were somedays. I'm still so grateful for those experiences.
Thank you for all the times you cheered me on from the sidelines. You made me feel like I could do anything. Thanks for overlooking my stubbornness. You made me feel like I was worth the wait. Thank you for making my heart race. Thanks for buying me flowers, for making long trips to see me, and making a special effort to surprise me. I felt like I was living out a fairytale. Thank you for all the times you tickled my back and played with my hair on the drive home. I've never felt more adored and cared for, or more perfectly content. Thanks for noticing and appreciating so many of the little things. Thanks for the talk in your backyard after that fight with my dad. Thanks for letting me hide behind you after I fell on my face getting on that ride (in front of alll those people.) Thanks for refusing to let go of me on the tube at the lake. I always felt so confident with you by my side. Thanks for taking my hand and calming me down when I almost lost it in that haunted house. For holding me after Chandler died. Thank you for making me a part of your family. I will always love them, I wonder if they know that. Thank you for helping me make that sign for the parade. Thank you for always, always trying to do what was best for me. Thanks for that time I had cramps and you got me a cup of ice at the theater. You were always so concerned for my well-being--so desperate to put me at ease and make me comfortable. Thanks for taking me to all those concerts. Thanks for all the times you wrestled with me. Thanks for the food fights and the impromptu water fights. Thank you for the way you made me laugh. The joy you brought into my life is immeasurable. Thanks for taking the risks and making the leaps of faith when I hesitated. It meant more than I can say. Thanks for being an endless source of encouragement and support. Thanks for inspiring me and motivating me. Thanks for coming to me for advice.
To this day, I'm so grateful for the way you loved and respected me. I'm so grateful for the way you still loved, cared for, and protected me even after everything fell apart. You are one of the most wonderful men I have ever known. Is it still okay to admit how much these experiences meant to me? You are not the love of my life, but you taught me what to look for and never to settle. Can you understand how grateful I am for you? I hope someday you will. On days like today, I don't feel bitter. I don't feel remorseful. If I could go back and re-live my past I wouldn't change a thing. On days like today, I'm just grateful for the life I've lived...and even more excited for the life ahead of me.
And I guess I have you to thank for that..go figure.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
1. I want to have a pinata at my wedding. And a legit outdoor concert.
2. I love mint milanos and sour patch kids. (not together, duh) And Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider.
3. Most recent goal: trying to be less cynical/critical/judgemental of others. Recently I've noticed I think a lot of mean things. Too often I assume the worst of people, too often I jump to my own conclusions. I watched this today and it kind of restored my love for humanity at large and reminded me what we're capable of. People are wonderful.
4. I ran out of Burt's Bees a week ago and its DESTROYING me.
5. When my close friends/family leave on missions I save a voicemail from them on my phone so I can still hear their voices every once in a while during those 2 long years. You know that awkward moment when you're around sketchy company and you feel nervous..so you pull out your phone and pretend you're having a conversation? I'm just listening to these old voicemails...
6. Tomorrow I'm going to sing/play the ukulele for a restaurant full of strangers.
7. I'm currently listening to "Makin' Out" by Pomplamoose, "I Want You Back" by the Civil Wars, and "Postcards From Italy " by Beirut on repeat. Those 3 over and over and over..
Tag: Kelsey, Brooke, uhhh guess I need more blogfriends?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
School is back in session. Logan is dreamy as ever in the fall.
I finally get to live with BT, its gonna be beautiful. I love her. Always have, and always will.
Yesterday I spent the day out on the lake with some friends--kind of a last hurrah to send out the summer. I cant think of anywhere else in the whole world I would have rather been yesterday. Pineview was gorgeous all day--the weather was phenom. The drive up through ogden canyon took my breath away. Spent all day on the lake laughing and listening to music and just hanging out with people I love in a beauutifull place. We drove home right before sunset--I was all alone singing in my car to some sweeeet sweet music and the sunlight was streaming in through my open windows and blinding me so I couldnt see a thing, and I felt like I was smiling from the inside out. I started laughing out loud, alone in my car...because I just couldn't contain how happy I felt.
I'm gonna miss days like this.
I hope there's more to come...my friends keep getting married and dropping off the face of the planet.
OMEN: my two besties both went to weddings this weekend, and BOTH caught the bouquet....fml.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
|Spent the first week of summer in Powell with some funny kids.|
|My dearest roommate Olivia got married! So did my lovely little cousin Logan.|
Being a bridesmaid is fun to do, to do, to do.
I really love weddings.
Annnd ofcourse the beloved cardboard box boat race..
Summer is wonderful. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.
over & out.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Why I Shoulds:
1) Desire. (D&C 4:3)
This, didn't exactly appear out of no where as Elder Brian gave his epic homecoming address..this little desire has been growing in my little heart since primary...since "I hope they call me on a mission," and "We'll bring the world his truth."
I just can't think of a more wonderful work to be a part of, or something that would be a better use of my time or effort. I cant think of a single thing I feel more passionately about than the gospel of Jesus Christ. I would absolutely love to share the gospel, full-time. I would love the chance to learn and the chance to teach. I would love the chance to watch the gospel change lives. Plus, the possibility of a serious change of scenery is nice. Kind of exciting. Also, learning a new language is on the life to do's..whether I go or not. Bonus if that happens.
Bottom line: Being a missionary for Jesus Christ is the greatest job on earth. A chance to be a tool in the master's hand and work with the spirit on a daily basis and focus on others instead of myself for 18 months.. I would be absolutely honored to be a part of it.
Desire. (D&C 4:3) Check.
Its been easy to brush aside thoughts of a mission before because I would just tell myself I could figure it out later...plennnnty of time. But. I feel like the stars are aligned...right, now. I'm finally 21. I'm just ABOUT to start my program but the most convenient time to take a break with school would be right, now. Doug's been out a couple months and if I hustle we would be coming home together. If I could hurry and get a call before summer ends I could come home right as another semester is starting...I'm not dating anyone. (Ha. Dating.) I'm don't have a job tying me down.
I don't have anything tying me down.
Right.at. this. moment. I feel like I could drive down to provo and knock on the front door of the MTC tomorrow. This unique circumstance will never happen again. I take it, now, or miss it, forever.
There is seriously soo much to be gained from serving a mission. Exhibit A: pull any RM off the street and ask, try to catch some of what they say as they break down and start crying trying to tell you how much it meant to them. But seriously. Here's some of what makes me most excited...
- FLOOD of learning. about the gospel. about the scriptures. about people. about myself.
- Love. for companions. leaders. investigators. everyone at home. so. much. LOVE.
- Hard work. I know I would be forced out of my comfort zone and could GROW so much.
- Sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT..the kind of accomplishment that impacts eternity.
- Learn about how to connect with and genuinely love PEOPLE.
- Learn how to be a better TEACHER
- Be more CONFIDENT with the scriptures
- Learn to be more organized and effective with my TIME
- Learn more about the big wide world OUTSIDE of Utah.
- I could go on and on with this list...my head is starting to spin just thinking about all the blessings that could come from missionary service.
The Why I Shouldn'ts:
1) Things I'll Miss
- Graduating Class of 2012 (big whoop...probably wasn't gonna make it on time anyway..)
- Potentially..I could miss a lot of friends' weddings. I would be sad to miss those..
- A really great waitressing job. Ha.
- Going to classes....Ha.
- Hanging out with my friends. Watching a lot of animal planet with my roommates..
- Dating. (Part joke..but part serious. I might go crazy not going on a single date for a year and a half)
- .......but overall, are these sounding completely lame to anyone else?
Lets be real here...a mission is no walk in the park. Part of me is scared that I really have no idea what I would be getting into. I'm famous for being a ''bad orderer" my expectations and reality hardly align. ever. at all. I'm scared to be let down with what missionary work is really like. But then...who has ever sacrificed anything for the Lord and then regretted it? No one. That's who.
3) Not in my "box"
A couple of semesters ago, one of my favorite Institute teachers at Utah State, Bro. Harding, gave a lesson about personal revelation. We were reading from the famous DC 9:8..."study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." Brother Harding helped me see this scripture in a totally new way that day. We talked about how the question "ask me if it be right" doesnt translate to, "should I or shouldn't I?" The question is whether its right or wrong. Bro. Harding drew a box on the board and said all good things would fall inside of Heavenly Father's 'box' and would therefore be 'right' and things that were wrong are not in His 'box.' Are the things you are asking for good/'right'? Is it in harmony with what he's revealed through the prophets and in the scriptures? Is it in the box?
If it is, the only question left to ask, is whether or not its in YOUR box of what is 'right' for you, individually. A mission is definitely a good/'right' thing, but is it in my box? I choose whats 'in' my box. (As long as my box is in His box) Heavenly Father who sees all, and knows exactly where I'm going and what I need, can help me to know what is right for my box as well. So I asked him. I told him how I felt about a mission. I prayed and I cried and I 'studied it out in my mind' and he helped me feel what was right for me.
And its not a mission.
*sigh* But, I whole-heartedly believe you don't have to be a full-time missionary to be a tool in our Heavenly Father's hands, or to have the spirit with you on a daily basis. Or to forget yourself and serve others. There is a great work to do wherever we're at. As Elder Uchtdorf put it, we all just need to 'lift where we stand' and I'm sure Heavenly Father will bless us as we serve in our own very unique, personal, and important capacities. So, to all the ladies out there who are maybe going through something similar...I hope this kind of helps. Its not important how or where you serve, if you are a full-time missionary or a good friend, sister, or mom...Its just important that you do your part. Never underestimate your ability to build the kingdom of God on a daily basis, in whatever capacity you're at. That's all He asks.
(If you got through this entire post you are a champ.)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
What. a. stud. Seriously, I've never been prouder to be his family:)
It was SUCH a great meeting and the spirit was so strong.
I may or may not have come home and written up a list of why I should and why I shouldnt serve a mission..
It was pretty one-sided.
more to come later.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Its been a tough week. We finally sent Elder Brian out to the mission field. Can't believe he's such a man..? Weird.
Anyway, most of you who know me, know him, so I just thought you might wanna know, OF COURSE I made a mission blog for while he's gone.
It's like a rite of passage for this time in my life, right? It probably in the missionary handbook that your sister is supposed to do this for you while you're gone. I dont know. Maybe.
Anyway, here it is. douginperu.blogspot.com
|This was across the street from the MTC right|
before we literally kicked him to the curb.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
This muchacho es mi amigo. I like him. We're friends.
We met at a bowling alley one time about a year and a half ago.
I really love being his friend. He's so fun and I know I can always count on him for anything. He's a stud. I feel lucky to have him in my life.
On a totally unrelated note, I planted an onion seed about 8 months ago. I don't know what I was thinking, because I don't even like onions at all. But, anyway, I grew an onion, and now I don't know what to do with it. It feels like a waste to throw it away because it took so long to grow. So I've just been saving it for a lonng time. I thought maybe if I found the right recipe it could still be good, but it's been a while and I can't find anything to do with it and its starting to go bad.
He loves onions. He says he'd rather have an onion than anything else. He could eat onions every day for the rest of his life. And if he couldn't have onions, he would just look all over the place for the closest thing to onions he could find. He convinced me to try them and I've learned to like onions a lot more than I did before, but there's still no way you could convince me to sit around and eat onions for the rest of my life. Ya know?
So yeah, I guess all I'm trying to say is that we feel really differently about onions, he and I.
Monday, January 24, 2011
It makes my heart melt. I love everything about it. It makes me hopeful there's still beauty and love and GOODNESS in the world. God bless youtube for letting me creepily have a peek into this tender moment between a father and his little girl.
I have this thing.
I just, really, really love families. (yeah, yeah, everyone loves their families..)
But I mean, All families. Any family.
Families make me feel safe and happy and like the world's a wonderful place. (People who really know me, know this.)
I think too many people are starting to forget this.
"The earth was created....that families might be"
-Elder Russel M. Nelson
"There is nothing in the world as important as the creation and perfection of family units"
-Elder Bruce R. McConkie
"It is possible to make home a bit of heaven; indeed, I picture heaven to be a continuation of the ideal home"
-Elder David O. Mckay