Saturday, June 30, 2012

Bear Lake Boy

What to blog about this boy...


We met at bear lake. We talked all night under a star speckled sky and knew instantly we would be  great friends..


He knew instantly.

I thought he was kind of shallow and a total bro.

He was all about the full court press.

I eventually caved to his adorable persistence..

I'm SO glad I did.

I didn't give him near enough credit upon first impression..

He changed me and made me better, so grateful for the experiences we shared together.


In the end, he just wasn't 'my one'

Friday, June 29, 2012

Crepe Boy

January something? 2012

Miracle happened. That ''friend'' I shamelessly stalked--asked me out the other day in the library. Could. not. I was seriously shocked.
We went out for sushi and went to a kareoke thing after that.. (I hate sushi, butttt I was not about to miss this date for the world so...)
He was dreamy. I'm really excited to get to know him, he just seems like the kind of person I want to be around..I can't even think of any good reason of why I feel so drawn to him.
Just am.
There were little quirky moments of course, and it felt first-datey-ish at times...but he's cute and I like how he makes me feel a  little nervous. Maaaaybe I shouldn't have admitted to stalking him though :/

February 7th 

Went to a Climb Works meeting to learn about what they do all summer.
Desperately want to go with but wonder if it will be too forward....? I mean he doesn't seem that interested, and I am rapidly approaching legit stalker status.

March 7th 

Applied. Interviewed.
Waiting to hear back about working in Tennessee with these guys all summer.
Unfortunately me and crepe boy have ceased almost all communication. But seriously...this job sounds so awesome that I wanna go regardless of how awkward it could potentially be for a bit.

June 19th

Got the job. Drove across the country. Been living out here in Tennessee about 3 weeks now. When I was pulling into the apartment complex on May 30th I had a minute panic attack at the gate. Did I seriously follow adorable crepe kid across the country? What the eff was I doing here? I am acting living like a total crazy person. Is he totally freaked out by me? Can I play it cool enough to make it seem like I ONLY came out because the job is so awesome? I think I can. I mean I did come out for the job ...didn't I?

The first week or so I legitimately did not could not look crepe boy in the eye because I was SO intent on not coming off as a pathetic stage 5 clinger. So yeah, you could say I was super mature about it. As all of the employees started settling in and getting to know each other...the truth came out about crepe boy. In a late night pillow talk with the girls, I realized he couldn't actually care less whether or not I was a stalker, his girlfriend (who I currently share an apartment with) would be keeping him prettttty occupied this summer.

You know that awkward moment when you think a situation is allll about you and then it turns out the l.o.y.l. already has a girlfriend who's wonderful in every way? ..whoops. Wish I woulda known that 2,000 miles ago. 

June 22nd

Apparently I'm not the only one who stalks Crepe Boy. Turns out, EVERY girl he has ever associated with ever, at all, is completely in love with him. He has this super power, and women everywhere just come unglued around him. Its crazy. Every female employee at our job is currently pining over him. It's super hilarious and has really helped bring us all together--we've bonded over our mutual pathetic-ness. There's only one girl who seems immune to his superhuman magnetism: the one he's in love with. His super powers don't seem to have such a powerful effect on her--she's getting ready to serve a mission this fall. GAH. The irony. 

All stalker jokes aside, my gut instinct about this guy was that he is something really special. Enough that I stepped wayy out of my comfort zone to come out here and try to spend some more time with him, and not only him but all the kids out here in Tennessee. These are great people. I wanted to know them better. I wanted to share some memories, to learn from them, and grow a bit this summer as a person.

That's not so crazy right?

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Everyday I'm Ziplining

Just a sneak peak of a day in the life.
Turns out its hard to film and zipline so I only got a couple seconds.

But you get the idea...right?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

This guy was exactly what I picture my Dad was like when he was 20 something.

Went on the funnest date tonight.
The kid was a total dream.
My abs (lack thereof?) are kinda sore from laughing all night. Like, really laughing.
What's awkward is, I have been objectifying his roommate (in jest) with my friends, from a safe distance, for about a month or two now.  And it was weird having him (the friend) there on the group date. Only because some random, well-meaning, completely third-party kid spilled the beans and told him (the friend) about my hopeless, embarrassing, completely unfounded obsession with him before going on said date.
Anyway! Back to my date, never saw him coming--but he really is awesome. He seems a little soft spoken and reserved, but totally confident, and I find that intriguing. He's really handsome, way polite, obviously a really ''good'' guy-but down to earth, really funny...

I can't say too much too soon--but I'm just really curious and really interested.

Went over to their house tonight to watch a movie after church. I am seriously so impressed with this whole house of boys. They are so good. And SO hilarious. It's been a long time since I've felt so impressed with someone(s). I feel kind of self conscious all the sudden--like the new dorky kid at school who is SO hoping that the cool kids will wanna be friends with me. Awkward.

Date #2 ensued this evening.
We went rock climbing together at the Rock House. Haus. ..? I felt weird and nervous like I haven't felt on a date in a long time. We didn't have a ton of time to talk, since one of us was always trying to climb up a wall or something, but we had polite, second-date, small talk, a bit of witty banter here and there, things seemed to be going pretty good.. I felt frustrated at the end of the night about how little I had learned about him though. I was hoping to connect a bit more and the whole thing felt kind of stiff and just, too polite.

Shoot. I confess. Shamelessly fb-stalked dream guy tonight. Learned two things. A. He seems awesome. and B. Turns out he has the world's most adorable ex-girlfriend who is currently serving a mission and spends her days being irresistably perfect and charming.
So....shoot. Guilt complex.

Still kind of talking/hanging out with dream boy every once in a while. He really does remind me of my dad. He seems so great on paper--seems exactly my type, but I don't feel like we're really clicking when we're together. :( frustrated.

...Soo, we went out again tonight.
I was SO nervous before he came over. It's seriously not like me--like straight up pacing almost. Way embarrassing. He took me to the Brazilian place where Landon and Liv had their wedding luncheon. I seriously almost choked on an ice cube when the waitress told us how much dinner was. Yikes. He was a total gentleman about it but I'm prettty positive he had no idea it was gonna be so steep. Ha. Anyway, I felt super guilty. (Note: Guys, just fyi, all I really want is a kids meal from Chili's--no need to impress here)  I felt like we finally took some baby steps getting to be real friends on this date. I'm usually so good at connecting with people and getting them to open up--but I'm way too intimidated by him, I act like a child. I can't help myself. I have no idea why he keeps asking me out when I keep acting like such an idiot.

Anyway, after dinner we went to a comedy show and after that we went back to his house to watch a movie. Dun. dun. dun.

It is SO unlike me to try and make any kind of moves during a movie. Or actually ever.
I never like to force anything--when it happens, it happens naturally. BUT, not with this kid. I felt like I just had to be a little more obvious so that he would know how interested I am in him. But oh my gosh was so awful--a semi-awkward arm tickle/cuddle thing happened...I don't even know what it was. Haha I felt like that guy on Just Friends, who doesn't know whether to hug or kiss his date and ends up just picking her up and doing this bizzare full body shake. Hahaha Eckk. I feel embarrassed just thinking back about it. I needed him to know I was into him..but was wayy too scared to do anything drastic.
Haha, I'm pathetic. It's fine.

He invited me over to play games tonight. So I went over to play games. No one else showed up to play games. Awkward. Buttt we pushed forward anyway and played phase 10. Oh man.

I'm beginning to believe that this isn't an 'awkward stage' but just the way we will interact with one another forever. I honestly don't feel like I can just be myself around him. I feel like I'm constantly being measured up and I get nervous. I feel like we're both interested in each other--but we have no friendship, or any kind of realtionship, to go off of. I want to spend time with him. I'm really interested in him. I wish we had more opportunities to just be together and hang feels like a lot of pressure to either be a couple and date or be nothing at all. Where's the happy medium there?

 Hate that.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

I would sell my soul.

My family spent this week in Lake Powell. I couldn't go because I'm out in TN workinn. 

All week I was craving the sun. 
and the red rocks. 
and the houseboat. 
and the skiing and wakeboarding. 
and the tubing. 
and the ice cream at the marina. 
and the stupid card games. 
and theme days. 
and the stars at night. 
and being with my wonderful family and friends.

Darn it.

Next Summer..

Monday, June 18, 2012

Happy Father's Day

I know I'm a day late, but we had an awesommme time celebrating Father's Day at CLIMBworks.
I really love this job.
And all weekend I've been thinking about how I really love my dad.
I really really love him.
I look up to him for a million different reasons.
I feel profoundly grateful he's mine.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Song of the Day

Just before I left to Tennessee I went to the Civil Wars concert with some of my besties.
Greatest night.
Sweet, sweet, BEAUTIFUL music.
This is one isn't on the CD but I'm obsessed with it.

..wish I could learn it on guitar--someone figure it out and teach me?

 kthanxbai. Happy Friday.

Friday, June 8, 2012


Here's the latest.

I moved to Tennessee. Drove 30 HOURS in the mini.
Garmin. Weird Hotel in Nebraska. Lots of snacks. Wholegrain Pringles. Delicious. Who knew?
The world's greatest mother accompanied me halfway--to Kansas City. Thanks Mom. 
In Kansas City I stayed a few days with my friend DJ KevyKev. 
Random turn of events: I stayed with Kevin's random roommate instead of him. This roommate received some terrible news while I was with him and we spent the day talking about the power of the atonement. Never had such a wonderful talk with a complete stranger.

Got up at 6 am (miracle for me) and drove 14 more hours to Gatlinburg. 
Listened to Tina Fey's biography on the way...lulz.
Stopped in Nashville to listen to some country music and have some BBQ. Duh.
Completely awestruck by how beautiful it is in Tennessee. 
Like, I'm dumb-founded every day as I drive to and from work. This place is wonderland of green. 
(Mental note: post pictures soon)
The other night we drove out through this mile long winding tree tunnel and slack lined until little blue lightning bugs starting blinking through the trees and lighting up the dark forest.

Oh, and I zip-line for a living.
Yes. Really.
All day. Zipping. 
Never not smiling. 

The kids I work/live/play with every day are the world's steeziest. 
This job is so fun. I can't believe they pay me to do it. 
Life is good.
I have the day off tomorrow cause I'm taking the Praxis test in Knoxville.
Yikes. I've had all summer to prepare and I've studied like a total of 16 minutes. 

g2g, ttyl.