"As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been."
"The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed towards the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives."
"Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has greater things in store for each of us"
"Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. "
-Jeffery R. Holland
ps. Watch this.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Doug's mission call is just miles away from the same town we were at this time last year!! Couldn't be more excited for him!!
ps. check out this picture of me being WAY too intense while he opened his call...
Also, I'm sorry for the super obnoxious screaming...jussst the way I am :/
Sunday, December 26, 2010
These amazing, wonderful, beautiful people have been waiting on my hand and foot for the last week. (Literally, its hard to lift my leg up onto the couch, so one of my siblings comes running to lift it up and tuck a pillow under it for me.)
Maybe no one else cares, and maybe this might come off a little vain or pretentious to people not in my family? I apologize. But what's a blog for, if not to write about things no one else really cares about just because it feels good to throw it out there to cyberspace...?
My little sister brought a christmas scentsy into my room so it would smell like christmas this week while I was cooped up in there.
My older sister, Kelsey, strung about a billion little christmas lights on the palm tree in my room.
Jamie's done up and undone my brace about 800 times.
Jamie will run upstairs to grab my computer, and then downstairs to look for my phone charger, and back upstairs to grab me a shirt to change into, and downstairs for a blanket, and up and down, and up and down....And she never complains, or rolls her eyes, or normal 12 year old kid things--Not even once.
Sean scrambled around to finish the last minute Christmas shopping I couldn't do before the family party.
He brought me flowers when I got out of the hospital.
My mom, has brought me breakfast in bed, for the past 5 days. (and lunch and dinner whenever I want it)
She went to the store to get all my favorite snacks and brought me 3 different movies from redbox. (plus, Doug supplied the 1st season of modern family. SO funny)
My mom brings me things I need before I can even think to ask for them. She's patient and loving and selfless...she's seriously gone above and beyond this week, one of the busiest, most stressful weeks of the year.
(I honestly feel so blessed to have Sue Brian as my mother. Sorry for the rest of the world that didnt get so lucky.)
Doug heard me crying in the middle of the night when the meds wore off and came running to my rescue.
He also came running to catch me when I almost tripped down the stairs on my crutches. Super graceful.
Sean (and my cute grandparents) went to like 4 different stores on Christmas Day to find me some stupid ice.
My dad took extra care to make sure I got to and from our family parties without breaking anything.
He's stayed by my side and watched hours and hours of modern family with me.
He offered to skip work the day of the surgery in case I just wanted him to be there.
He gave me a blessing before I went in, and put me at peace.
I could seriously go on and on and on...
But let me just say, this was a really special Christmas for me.
I felt completely overwhelmed by the love I feel for my family.
I am so blessed.
Throughout this year, for whatever reasons, some friends I really love grew distant. Others just dropped out of my life altogether, and that kind of change is always hard to deal with.
It means everything to me to know these people are a constant in my life. And they always will be.
Monday, December 20, 2010
PEOPLE!!! I'm freaking out here!! Tomorrow they are gonna slice me right open and play around with my insides!
And these 3 little words won't quit haunting me---6. months. recovery.
6 months recovery.
Oh. My heart just broke. My stomach is sick, and my heart is broke. GREAT.
Anyway, if anyone wants to sit around this break and marathon through every episode of Modern Family with me, you are most welcome.
p.s. any great movie (or series) suggestions? (I've got a lot of sitting around to do)
pss. I wish I was in California with Nicole. Or in Boston with Brooke. And not in Kaysville with...by myself.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Eeeek. I'm nervous.
Also, finals are AWESOME, thanks for asking.
Also, I'm wayyy sick of eating chic-fil-a everyday.
Oh AND, I hope I dont jinx it by saying something...but lately I'm the luckiest person alive. Felix Felicis Status. Everything I need or want keeps falling into my lap somehow...? Amazing? Definitely.
Hope it works on test scores too..
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I got more acquainted with the library.
Learned a whole lot about negative feedback loops.
I disected a pig heart.
Spent my fridays daydreaming about me and this super attractive guy in my lab...
Memorized a lot of crap for tests and then promptly forgot, everything.
This class wasn't as impossible as everybody made me feel it would be..
Also, the scientific term for goosebumps is , arrector pili
Psychometrics 5330 with Kyle Hancock:
I learned the word, 'psychometrics.'
(A branch of psychology that deals with test design, administration, and interpretation of tests for the measurement of psychological variables such as intelligence or personality.)
Reliability & Validity. Reliability & Validity. Reliability & Validity.
"High school is.. a huge...social conundrum" - Dr. Kyle Hancock
I learned that psychological tests aren't perfect but they are better than nothing at all, and in order to put test information to good use, you need to not be an idiot.
LOVED this teacher and surprisingly grew to really look forward to this class.
Scientific Thinking and Research Methods with Jennifer Grewe:
I wrote a big fat proposal about creativity. I hated it.
Sometimes she brought us treats.
One time we spent a class period watching power rangers to count the frequency of aggressive behaviors and compare our observational differences.
Abnormal Psychology with Dr. Twohig:
Took a whole semester to learn how to correctly pronounce 'twohig.'
Trichotillomania: psychological disorder in which one can't stop pulling their hair
Looked forward to daily "Mustasheo" comments. This crazy older man with a mustache would sit in the back of class and pose the weirdest questions about hippies and ghostbusters and spirit rituals..bless him.
Dr. Twohigs cure to most disorders: "Give life meaning, make it worthwhile, accept yourself. Be active, have people that care about you--you'll do okay in life" Amen, Dr. Twohig, Amen.
Drugs & Human Behavior with Donna Gordon:
Donna, Donna, Donna...bless her and her gloriously easy classes.
Sat in the back and chatted with Kelsey & Sam for a whole semester.
Did some interesting research on prosecuting mothers for their drug addictions during pregnancy..
Highlight was when the Athletic Director came in as a guest speaker to talk about steroid use and was wayyyy too intense about it. Seriously hilarious.
Reinforced my desire to have a family and be a mother. Cannot wait.
Seemed like the first half of the semester I focused a lot on grace, and the second half a ton about agency...so, spent a good deal of time this semester thinking about that interesting little interplay..
Learned and felt the power of testifying through music.
Couldn't stop thinking about this quote:
"The man who so walks in the light and wisdom and power of God, will at the last, by the very force of association, make the light and wisdom and power of God his own--weaving those bright rays into a chain divine, linking himself forever to God and God to him.....beyond this human greatness cannot achieve" - B.H. Roberts
All in all, a semester well spent.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
When we were little I literally thought Doug was Satan.
Thennn we grew up and he sorta became my best friend somehow along the way. He's such a stud. He's basically good at everthing he tries. And he makes me laugh soo hard everyday. He's an irreplaceable part of our family/my life.
I love how he wears V-necks almost everyday. I love that he reads Stephanie Meyer books and is obsessed with SYTYCD. I love that he knows something about everything--makes him a super fun travelling buddy. I love how he loves to dance. I love his stupid family guy impressions. I love how kids gravitate to him everywhere he goes. I love that he's brilliant. I love how he drives our parentals crazy. I love his taste in music, most of the time. I love how we share the same sense of humor. I love having him up at Utah State with me! I'm gonna HATE having him gone for the next 2 years. Seriously, dreading it.
Anyway, Happy 19th to Doug :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
And yeah, I can't stop fantasizing about me and Darren Criss.
So what if he plays a gay guy?
So what if he looks JUST like my best friends' (plural...haha) ex-boyfriend?
So what if he's famous for his youtube Harry Potter musical? (...okay lets be real, that's actually a HUGE plus!)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The first snow storm sends me into a spiralling depression that usually lasts, oh, for about 5ish months. I hate snow. I hate the cold. I hate how my socks get wet and my feet are FREEZING all day. This weather is miserable. and I miss the colors.
BUT!!! there is a cure to this devastating depression, and it always makes me feel better....I've listed it below. Enjoy :)
Friday, October 29, 2010
Some Things We Have Learned Together : Jeffery and Patricia Holland
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I think he wanted to torture my heart a little bit for what I did to his.
This is way too sappy for blogworld but...there's like 4 girls who read this? So whatever.
Baby look here at me, have you ever seen me this way?
I've been fumbling for words through the tears and the hurt and the pain.
I'm gonna lay it all out on the line tonight,
I think that it's time to tell this uphill fight goodbye.
Have you ever had to love someone that just don't feel the same?
Trying to make somebody care for you the way I do, is like trying to catch the rain.
If love is really forever, I'm a winner at a losing game.
I know that baby you've tried to find me somewhere inside of you,
But you know you can't lie--girl you can't hide the truth.
Sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat,
so I'll pack up my things and take what remains of me.
I know I'll never be, the man that you need, or love..
Its killing me to stand here and see I'm not what you've been dreaming of.
Have you ever had to love someone who just doesn't feel the same?
Tryin' to make somebody care for you the way I do, is like trying to catch the rain.
If love is really forever, I'm a winner at a losing game.
...............Yeahhh, no really, that happened. After he played it we both just kind of awkwardly sat there. I didnt know if he was waiting for an apology or what? Ahhh....anyway, This is my life.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Last night I went to get Aggie Ice Cream with my parents who were up in Logan for a ward temple night--My phone was sitting on my lap when I stood up....and accidentally let it fall. to. its. death. RIP little cell phone. Rest in pieces, not peace, because when it dropped, it (along with my heart) literally broke into little pieces. Like this:
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
- Conference is the only holiday that comes TWICE a year.
- I love the idea of church in your PJs.
- I love having my whole family around all day--a sunday with NO meetings :)
- I love how we sit around and eat all. day. long.
- I love conference bingo.
- I love taking pictures of all my sleeping family members when the last session rolls around.
- I love girls night out during priesthood session
- I love actually going to conference and feeling the buzzing excitement of members that have come from all corners of the world.
- I love the powerful feeling of being totally united as a world wide church for a weekend.
- I love to hear counsel and direction that the Lord would have ME know for TODAY, through His wonderful prophets.
- I love how the messages shared always inspire me to stand a little taller and be a little better the next six months than I was the last.
I wanted to post some of my favorite quotes but I seem to have left my little notebook in Kaysville..... :( So! More to come soon...
Friday, October 1, 2010
We had back to back games and not enough girls on our team, so my team was less concerned about my knee and more concerned about our lack of subs. So after a couple phone calls to #1 my dad, #2 my little brother (to bring me a knee brace) and #3 my physical therapist...I let them talk me into going back in for our next game.
....30 seconds later, I got laid out by a girl half my size and I knew I couldn't finish the game. I hobbled off the field and watched the rest of the game from the stands with my friend Kendon and an icebag on my knee. The physical therapist calmed all my fears and ruled out an ACL injury, claiming I had an "end feel" (whatever that means...) He said it was most likely a torn meniscus that would heal itself in time.
Fast forward a couple months to Logan, Utah and the beginning of another fall semester season of intramurals (..all I have to look forward to now in my soccer career) I was SO excited to play again! I was a little concerned about how my knee would hold up, but, not wanting to look like a weenie in front of my friends, I threw on a brace and ran on the field.
....30 seconds later I get laid out by a girl half my size, AGAIN. My knee locked up, and hurt so bad I couldn't even walk off the field---I just rolled my body across the sideline and waited for Doug to run to my rescue. I decided it was finally time to go to the doctor and the verdict is in:
Torn ACL and lateral tear in my meniscus.
I kept a stiff upper lip while the doctor gave me my diagnosis and explained my options..but as soon as I made it to my car I bawled like a baby. I cried the whole way home. I'm nervous and scared for surgery.
I took my laptop to class and watched youtubes of different ACL reconstructions all day long. See for yourself, here's what I'll be getting for Christmas this year...(watch it with the sound off)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I applied to a company called Soccer Shots and got a job coaching 3-8 year olds at day cares and camps. Seriously? Hello, dream job, thanks for falling into my lap.
I had a realllll nice summer, lots of family and friends and fun. I really do feel "fully content." Hope everyone else had a good getaway from the grind.
Friday, April 30, 2010
I. was. starving.
Deleriously so. I couldnt stand it anymore and I jumped in my car and drove to panda as fast as I could. Like, lightspeed. When I got there....I realized there WAS no drive through and that I had no shoes. Eff.
....My second trip to panda was successful though. I thoroughly enjoyed my kids meal and then THIS was the fortune in my cookie:
"You will have full contentment by summers end."
.....%*@# Yeahhh!!! Bring on the summer. I will probably make tons of beautiful memories and lots of money and meet the love of my life...mmm mm mm..
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sometimes I have days when I get so frustrated with myself and my life. Sometimes all my little worries seem huge. Somedays I look around and can only think about all the things I dont have, or all the things I'm not. I think about the big scheme of things, and where I'm at in relation to where I want to be, and I get discouraged. Somedays I feel like I'm failing... On those days, in my moment of desperation, when I can't get to my mom...
I just watch this. No matter how many times I've watched it, it always makes me feel hopeful, and brings a better perspective. I adore this man. He's wonderful. I hope I get the chance to hug him someday, and thank him for this.
Please ignore the completely awful music in the background, I couldnt find one without it. Its really super annoying....but try to look past it and hear what he has to say.
Guaranteed cure for a bad day.
(ps. my last attempt to post a video was kiiind of a fail so, I hope this works. fingers crossed)
Friday, April 9, 2010
But, I'm proud of my studly friends serving throughout the world.
Cannot WAIT for the day I get to hear this kid sing in real life again. :)
Crimson Ground in China
May 28, 2009 8:44
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Wrong. My friends are just the greatest. and It was so normal.
As I sat back and listened, I thought to myself, This is exactly why we're best friends!! I love that I have friends who are so excited and enthusiastic about the gospel. I love that I can look to their example as I work at becoming the kind of woman I want to be. I don't know where I'd be without their guiding influence in my life. I'm so grateful.
I'm grateful for roommates who teach me what it means to be a real friend and open your heart to the people around you. Who are constantly lifting and encouraging one another. Who live the gospel, and don't just study it. Who show me everyday what it means to have charity and to be selfless. Who are so caring and compassionate and quick to give of themselves and their talents. Who are so creative, and stylish, and hilarious, and brilliant, and bring so much joy into my life...
Eeek, this is turning so cheesy but I dont know how to express what I'm feeling. Bleh...I'm such an amateur blogger.
I just, really love my friends. I feel awed. Every single one of them has some amazing quality that is uniquely their own that I envy and admire and wish I could master myself.. I feel so lucky just to be around them, and rub shoulders with such remarkable women.
To whomever is responsible for placing these fabulous people in my life, thank you, thank you, thank you. It means the world to me.
Friday, April 2, 2010
It was so great to finally get some things off my chest recently. I needed it. I needed to understand and to be understood. I needed reassurance. I needed to feel at peace. I shouldn't have avoided that conversation for so long...